Robin Williams Quotes
See All The America Quotes
Cricket is basically baseball on valium.
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Having George W. Bush giving a lecture on business ethics is like having a leper give you a facial, it just doesn't work!
See All The Business Quotes
Cocaine is God's way of saying you're making too much money.
See All The Celebrity Quotes
No matter what people tell you, words and ideas can change the world.
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Ah, yes, divorce... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.
See All The Funny Quotes
Do you think God gets stoned? I think so... look at the platypus.
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Gentiles are people who eat mayonnaise for no reason.
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I like my wine like my women - ready to pass out.
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If it's the Psychic Network why do they need a phone number?
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Never pick a fight with an ugly person, they've got nothing to lose.
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See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time.
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The Russians love Brooke Shields because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
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We've had cloning in the South for years. It's called cousins.
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When you look at Prince Charles, don't you think that someone in the Royal family knew someone in the Royal family?
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We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture.
See All The Homosexual Quotes
Comedy is acting out optimism.
See All The Humor Quotes
When in doubt, go for the dick joke.
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You're only given a little spark of madness. You mustn't lose it.
See All The Insanity Quotes
Why do they call it rush hour when nothing moves?
See All The Ironic Quotes
The Second Amendment says we have the right to bear arms, not to bear artillery.
See All The Military Quotes
What's right is what's left if you do everything else wrong.
See All The Mistake Quotes
Carpe per diem - seize the check.
See All The Money Quotes
Spring is nature's way of saying, 'Let's party!'
See All The Nature Quotes
We have a president for whom English is a second language. He's like 'We have to get rid of dictators,' but he's pretty much one himself.
See All The Political Quotes
When the media ask George W. Bush a question, he answers, 'Can I use a lifeline?'
See All The Political Quotes
Politics: 'Poli' a Latin word meaning 'many'; and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures.'
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Reality is just a crutch for people who can't cope with drugs.
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People say satire is dead. It's not dead; it's alive and living in the White House.
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If women ran the world we wouldn't have wars, just intense negotiations every 28 days.
See All The War Quotes
